"mourning" culture: young people who don't want to go to work

I want to rush to my boss to resign every minute

"I feel out of breath when I walk into the office every day, and I can't get a dirty breath out of my chest."

Kiki describes how she feels when she doesn't want to go to work. She used to work as an AE in a small advertising company. The company is located in a joint office, and there are glass cubicles out of the elevator. For 70% of the year, the air conditioner is on, the doors and windows are closed, and the environment is very stuffy. And the work of preparing for several months of the case, but also due to a variety of reasons has not been able to proceed smoothly.

in her feeling, the day at work was like a dark fog, dirty and dreary.

several other colleagues of the same age at Kiki feel the same way. They often make an appointment to go to the convenience store downstairs in the afternoon to "get some air" even if they don't want to buy anything in particular. While drinking coffee made by machines in the convenience store, several people complained to each other about Party A, who was a demon, and his boss who had changed his mind every few days.

among young people, expressions such as "I'm almost a loser", "I have nothing to love" and "feel my body hollowed out" are frequently used in social environments. The public opinion refers to this kind of phenomenon as "mourning" culture-decadent, do not want to do anything, do not want to go to work, just want to collapse somewhere empty.

HR habitually labels the post-90s as "wayward and irresponsible", but in fact, it is the post-90s who work the most overtime in various companies.

this group of young people who complain every day that they "do not want to go to work" is not that they do not want to work at all, but they value the realization of personal value more than any previous generation and do not want to spend their time in repetitive and boring work. And there are indeed more opportunities in front of them, and it is no longer only possible to climb in traditional jobs.

when this group of young people is tired of their current jobs, they will ask, "is there any job where you can make money and travel while doing things?"

this job is her first job after graduation, dealing with business in an Internet company in Beijing.

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since she was a child, she lived in Qingdao and never left, so when she graduated from college, she especially wanted to go to Beijing to work and experience the taste of living independently.

there are more than a hundred people in the company. Later, she found that her position may happen to be a "management loophole" in the company. There is no direct management of small leaders above her, basically waiting for the big boss to be released every day. When I have something to do, I will go out and run the market with my colleagues, and when I have nothing to do, I will sit in my seat all day to pass the time.

the company signs in, and the articles of association stipulate that it goes to work at 10:30 in the morning. But sometimes she didn't arrive at the office until 02:00 in the afternoon, and no one blamed her.

she, who used to be homesick, arranged her weekends more tightly than her weekdays at that time. Meet friends, gossip, watch movies, watch plays. However, these activities did not ease her growing anxiety and the sense of "meaninglessness" caused by her unproductive work.

she doesn't know what she's going to do or whether her current state of life should continue.

the reason why Lydia, who works as a salesman in a foreign trade company, wants to leave his job is that he is so busy with the daily work that he has "no personal time".

the most exaggerated one is that I get off work after midnight from Monday to Friday for a month in a row, and I also go to the office on Sunday afternoon and don't leave until around 11:00 in the evening. In the end, her parents advised her to resign as soon as possible, because 24-and 25-year-olds were "so busy at work that they didn't have time to find a partner."

too idle and too busy do not meet young people's expectations for work.

according to the 2017 Research report on turnover and pay Adjustment released by a large job search website in China, the turnover rate of fresh students has continued to rise in the past three years, and the turnover rate of fresh students in 2016 is as high as 26.5%. In addition, the increase in employee turnover rate in first-tier cities was 4.1 percentage points higher than in 2015, to 22.4%.

51 job released the 2017 Research report on turnover and salary Adjustment, which shows the turnover rate in first-tier cities in recent years

Dosha has changed three jobs in the two years after graduation.

my first job was sitting in that kind of partition office. At that time, I didn't have much to be responsible for, and I was occasionally sent by the secretary of the general manager to help interpret the contents of the meeting. she resigned because she felt that there were not many prospects there. The second job was in an e-commerce company for a long time, but then the department was disbanded. If you want to continue to do it, you have to accept the transfer to customer service. This is not a decision that people are willing to accept.

but the last job took only about two months, from ambition before entering the job to offering to resign angrily.

on the eve of her resignation, she was still writing all night to catch up with the work assigned by her boss. However, because the task was too large, we had to hand over a semi-finished product first. As a result, when the boss saw it, he immediately pulled up a WeChat group and asked her together with the department manager about her recent work attitude.

"he's trying to kick me out," Dousha said angrily.

when I first came into contact with the job of gourmet self-media, I thought everything was quite new. Because I have the opportunity to get in touch with many tycoons in the food industry, I think this will be a place where I can make great plans. But, after having been in contact for a long time, Dosha found that the boss changed his boss twice a day. I just talked about the strategy today, but tomorrow I suddenly said that the official account is going to change a whole new direction.

in 2015, the state introduced policies to support young people to start businesses. Small start-ups are springing up everywhere, providing young people with more options for employment. This also brings them new challenges, such as the situation that the boss is arbitrary and the overall development direction of the company is not clear in the start-up companies encountered by Dosha.

Young people who do not want to go to work can find 100,000 reasons for being "unhappy": mismanagement of the company, disagreement with the boss's values, the boredom of colleagues, and confusion about their personal life.

some of these problems are difficult problems encountered by young people of almost every generation in the workplace. For example, how to deal with interpersonal relationships in the workplace, how newcomers quickly integrate into the industry, and so on. It's just that young people born in the Internet age are even more unwilling to give in to themselves. Compared with traditional industries with a single career promotion channel, more young people tend to find jobs in small start-ups in emerging industries.

"I have a friend who has been looking for a job for a year and a half, and it is getting worse and worse. I have a feeling that she still can't find a job in the first half of this year. It's an exaggeration, "Dousha said of a friend's experience. She didn't have any job opportunities at all, but she felt that the salary for her job at offer was too low, or that she couldn't cope with the entertainment in the workplace, so she gave up again and again and continued to interview the next one. In short, "I haven't had a job since graduation, until now."

be a "full-time daughter" at home

after graduation, I went to work in a bank. Because of my calm personality, I was respected by the group leader. As soon as this kind of "respect" comes to the dinner occasion, it becomes "Big ah, you must drink this wine."

gatherings between bank colleagues do not happen only on legal holidays. Almost every week or two, people will be crowded, this time to the new seafood restaurant, the next time it will be replaced by the hottest hot pot restaurant in the city line. The middle-aged leaders at the dinner table were in high spirits, drinking liquor and beer alternately. Even a little girl is hard to get rid of as long as she is not allergic to alcohol. Once, after a deliberate toast, the group leader only took a sip. Later, the group leader said to her alone, "this is impolite."

mixed alcohol is easy to get drunk. Dada thinks he can drink well, but every time he gets home shortly before midnight after a party, he feels dizzy, misses Rest, and feels dirty. He wants to take a bath but doesn't have the strength to take a bath. He spends a lot of time in the bathroom.

this kind of social interaction makes her feel very painful. For a while, I fantasized about making a mistake in a major settlement, so that I could take the blame and resign, "so I don't have to see my colleagues."

Da mentioned to his family that he was going to resign from the bank. But her family felt that her current job was stable and did not support her abruptly leaving, advising her, "you can use your off-work time to do what you like to do." If you do a good job and can support yourself, we will certainly agree to your resignation. "

the family's policy of "playing hard to get" makes Da Da's intense desire to resign begin to shake. Although she is interested in painting, she is not up to the level of opening and receiving orders. If you look for another job, there is no guarantee that it will be better than a bank job in terms of salary and workload.

I know very well that my family is not worried that they will not be able to support themselves after they resign, because the family is also well-off. The only hope for parents is that their daughter's job is stable.

the family conditions of the post-90s have generally improved compared with the era when they had to take over as the mainstay of the family economy as soon as they had a job. After the '60s, parents' expectations of their children are much lower, and some even tell their children explicitly, "as long as you can support yourself, don't worry about us."

in addition, more and more open-minded parents will take the initiative to encourage their children to do what they want to do. You can also readily understand the idea that your children should resign and take a break or quit and start a business, without feeling that their children are not doing their job.

Ai Yin's decision to resign from the Beijing company and return to Qingdao did not discuss with her parents, but simply gave a "notice". But the parents' reaction is quite happy because the daughter can return to Qingdao from Beijing to accompany her side.

A life where you don't work and live and eat at your parents' house is seen by outsiders as "gnawing on the old". But she gave herself another name, "full-time daughter".

the goal Ai Yin set for himself when he was a child was to achieve financial independence when he was in college. But later found that their previous ideas are too naive, may "still not be forced into a desperate situation."

when she first went to work in Beijing, her family paid the rent for the first three months. "I know that some of my friends are still asking for money at home even after work. Indeed, there is not enough money. And rent a house or something.

Ai Yin's parents still give her pocket money when she is at home, but she adheres to the principle of "swiping credit cards as soon as she can" and then uses her savings to pay her credit card bills.

"my parents don't mind at all, but I do." she thinks that the money that pays off the credit card interest is that she is paying for her self-esteem.

the previous experience of working in Beijing was the first time she left home and lived alone. She also studies in Qingdao and goes home every weekend, and her mode of getting along with her parents seems to have not changed since she was a child. So after graduating from college, I am very eager to go out. There is only one purpose for choosing a job, and that is to "go to Beijing".

now looking back on his decision at that time, Ai Yin felt that he just wanted to be a "daughter who wanted to leave home with all her heart." After going to work, it is sometimes difficult to talk to my parents on the phone a few times a week.

chat with other friends in AiyinIn the process, she found that many of her friends were the same. after leaving home to work, she became more and more alienated from her family. after that, it naturally became a hot topic in society, that she was "urged to marry" by her parents during the holidays, and that the relationship with her parents became cold, and it was difficult for the two generations to communicate.

the job frustration she encountered in Beijing soon made her realize that it was naive to change jobs to another city simply to escape from her family. She thinks she needs to get back into her family relationship to repair herself.

while working as a "full-time daughter", she began to write down the "Diary of getting along with her parents", recording the contradictions encountered in life with her parents, the warm moments of the family, or when her emotions were very intense. She finds a lot of material every day, and she rethinks her relationship with her parents and relatives in the process of writing. Sometimes, I also read some psychology books.

although I don't go to work, I open my eyes every day and face a lot of time. But Ai Yin feels that he has a more sense of achievement than before. "it's also possible that I rationalized my behavior."

there is a paragraph in the diary she wrote about getting along with her parents: when she first returned to Qingdao from Beijing, Ai Yin remembered that Grandma was still sleeping, but her father insisted that she interrupt Grandma's sleep to say hello. Grandma was very happy when she saw her and grabbed her hand. She also said to her grandmother cooperatively, "I will never go out again when I come back this time."

what is the cost of not going to work?

from the mood of "not wanting to work" to the state of not going to work, the process of proposing resignation is still a threshold for young people.

Kiki in the first month after naked resignation, to relax, a person went to Taiwan to travel around the island. When I look at the mountains and the sea, I feel that I have a broad mind. However, after returning to Shanghai, I felt the great pressure of life again.

the house price of going north to Guangzhou is out of reach for many young people who live in it every day but have never thought of saving money to buy a house. There is no long-term goal of saving money, which also leads to the consumption concept of many young people is to have fun in time, just eat and dress well and have fun today. The salary before Kiki is also basically "moonlight".

the only rope that tightens their belts to some extent is the high rent in first-tier cities.

after resigning, I have to pay 2,000 yuan a month in rent, even if I stay at home without food or drink, it won't last long. Kiki later thought that there was a provident fund in the previous company's social security that could be withdrawn to pay the rent, thus supporting an extra period of unemployed freedom.

51 jobs surveyed "naked resignation reserve", and only 14% of the people said that "if you are not happy, resign first". Most people save their wages for several months before they dare to resign naked.

data Source: new Culture Daily

when I worked as a foreign trade salesman before Lydia, although the overtime situation was crazy, the company's year-end bonus was also very high, saving more than 100,000 yuan in the past two years. In the year after her resignation, instead of rushing to find her next job, she made several trips with different friends, including seven European countries, the eastern United States, Malaysia, and so on.

although her habits have always been frugal, she spent a lot of money on air tickets and hotels. In addition, friends around her know that she resigned, usually ask her for dinner, and she has no other reason to excuse herself. The weekly "party expenses" also add up to a lot of expenses.

at the end of last year, after she came back from a trip to Japan, a friend asked her whether to travel for the Spring Festival, but she politely refused. Because according to the calculation, all the savings of the previous two years have been used up after a year of trouble.

living expenses after not going to work vary from person to person. There are people like Lydia who spend all their savings because of travel, while others cut back on food and clothing, using a declining standard of living in exchange for extending their days off from work.

but if the material preparation and psychological construction are not done well, only resigning on an impulse will often make young people who think that they can achieve freedom without going to work feel greatly lost and at a loss after touching the hard reality of life.

on the other hand, the cost of resignation is not only money but also time and experience.

for some people who have reached the middle and senior levels who do not want to go to work, part of the reason is that they have touched the ceiling of the industry and have to change.

after working in a company for two or three months, many young people think they "see-through" the nature of their work and feel that their current job doesn't bring them much. But in fact, they do not understand the core of the industry, do not learn from the workplace skills they should learn.

part of the reason is that young people still have psychological factors such as "glass heart", "giant baby" and "impetuous" in the process of transforming from school students to social people, which leads to the slow and difficult process of adaptation.

when they have used up the capital to support themselves not to go to work and live freely, they want to return to work, the time they spend on self-psychological construction and their poor work experience with colleagues of the same age. are the sunk costs after resignation. Although it can not be quantified, it is enough to open up a large gap in the workplace.

A sense of purpose is a luxury for young people

in a report released by Tencent, born in the Internet era of the post-1995 generation of the most desirable new career, the highest number of votes are anchors /Internet celebrities, followed by an excellent voice, makeup artist, Coser, game reviewer.

data source: "the concept of employment of the post-1995 generation"

these different types of occupations are unimaginable when they are young. Nowadays, the diversity of social occupations provides a new generation of young people with more ways to "do not want to go to work". And they do chase it more. Seek to have your skills, and rely on this skill to live a free life, even if what you are engaged in is a minority and unpopular to outsiders.

Mr. Chen resigned in August last year and gradually became a freelancer relying on a sideline. Her main job at present is to be a Tarot therapist. She came into contact with tarot cards in high school and then formally studied tarot with a diviner. Later, I did it for free on Douban several times and accumulated experience. And then start charging guests.

in her view, Tarot is not a trick of fortune-telling, but more like psychological counseling to provide some psychological adjustment advice to her clients. But tarot cards may be easier and easier to accept than counseling. In addition, sometimes, she will write articles for the official account, in short, do not go to work, still be able to maintain their living income.

now, she has opened her studio in her hometown of Zhanjiang, step by step on the road to realizing her bigger dream.

but on the other hand, too many choices sometimes make young people lose their sense of purpose and have no choice.

Kik had a lot of ideas to make a living after she resigned naked. She wanted to find a cafe to learn how to make coffee, go back to her hometown, open an Airbnb near a newly developed tourist attraction, and find a minority European country to apply for a scholarship and go abroad to study as a graduate student. It seems that every imagination can carry out magnificent adventures in life, but it is uncertain which path to choose.

when I go to work, I will think, "I can support myself by doing anything, so why should I suffer in the office?" but when young people lose their jobs, how to find the most suitable way out for themselves? it has become the biggest problem facing this group of young people who are eager to realize themselves.

this is also what young people often say, "it is painful to go to work, but it is more painful not to go to work".

in a poll of "I don't want to go to work" conducted by Chinese sandwiches, "my inner anxiety" beat "money" as the biggest factor influencing young people's decision to resign.

Chinese sandwiches "do not want to go to work" poll

in this process, some people gradually find their areas of expertise and begin to clarify their future direction.

when the food self-media editor, the boss wants everyone on the team to be versatile, not only responsible for the content but also "incidental" to run errands to do marketing.

"later, someone asked me that the editor now still works in the marketing department," Dosha said. "it feels a bit funny."

after resigning, Dousha began to focus on writing manuscripts and drawing her illustrations. On one occasion, a friend introduced her to writing for an official account, and later, because of her good performance, she took over the outsourcing work of the entire official account operation.

she is now a freelancer, writing at home every afternoon and arranging her own time in the morning and evening. Income is probably able to support their livelihood, but the bigger worry at present is that such a working state is not stable.

another group of young people who have not yet fully found their future direction, when the cost of not going to work is about the same, begin to re-plan to return to the workplace, receive social training, and earn money. and continue to find your ideal life.

Kiki only felt a little bit right when he moved to his third job.

although it takes an hour to commute every day, I don't feel too bad about overtime because the content, environment, salary, and prospects of the job are in line with my expectations. Occasionally I still complain about all kinds of troubles at work, but it is no longer the state in which I "want to rush to my boss and resign every minute".

the most direct motivation for Ai Yin to find a new job is to pay off her credit card. The "full-time daughter" with no personal income has almost spent her previous savings at home and overdrawn part of her credit card limit.

however, unlike the last time she chose a job out of town simply to escape from her family, she did not rule out the possibility of looking for a job out of town, but she would make a decision considering all aspects of the job.

she believes that she can really "live an independent life" this time. This is more important than anything else.